I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
