Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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