if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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