My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
