The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize