whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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