never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i will never coherently bang her
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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