The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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