Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
