I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
