Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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