If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
