i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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