you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize