I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize