I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize