New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
