Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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