Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
