That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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