hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Actions speak louder than pants.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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