apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
