Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
