I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
