I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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