I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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