Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
