THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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