Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
