ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
