Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize