She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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