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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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