i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
