are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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