I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize