i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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