i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
