she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
