she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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