And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
