Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
