Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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