Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
