Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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