It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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