I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
