haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
