I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Your mouth is God's brothel.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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