Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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