I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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