I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize