ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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