I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
