I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
