Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
