you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
