I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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