Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
