Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
