Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
two words: eviction party
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When did angry sex become our thing?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
