bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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