there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
