The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
