im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dick very happy bro
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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